What Happened to You?
Maybe you’ve met a young person who seems angry for no reason. Or one who’s quiet to the point of disappearing. Maybe you've seen someone act out in ways that seem extreme, and you’ve wondered why they can’t just behave, focus, or calm down.
But the truth is, behaviour is often the language of unmet needs. Before you label them as disruptive, difficult, lazy, or dangerous, try pausing for a moment.
And ask instead:
What happened to you?
It’s a question that changes everything.
Because behind that anger, there might be fear.
Behind the silence, grief.
Behind the defiance, a history of not being heard.
No one wakes up one day and chooses chaos. For many young people, chaos is what they’ve always known. Trauma, instability, and pain don’t just stay locked inside. They leak out — in classrooms, in relationships, in self-doubt, or aggression. And too often, adults react to the symptoms instead of reaching for the cause.
But when someone finally sees beneath the surface — when someone stops and really listens — that’s when healing begins.
It’s not about fixing. It’s about showing up consistently. It’s about providing spaces where young people feel safe enough to let their guard down.
That’s where mentoring comes in. Not as authority, but as a relationship. A steady presence who understands that trust has to be earned, not expected. A guide who doesn’t just say “I get it,” but truly means it, because they’ve been through it too.
And that’s where structured movement can make all the difference. In a boxing session, a judo class, or a breath-focused drill, something shifts. For the first time, a young person might feel strong without feeling dangerous. Controlled without feeling trapped. Seen without being judged.
Alongside this, support around wellbeing, healthy routines, and emotional awareness gives young people practical tools — not just to survive, but to grow.
This is what it means to ask the right question.
To recognise that pain doesn’t always show up quietly. And that the first step toward change isn’t behaviour management — it’s compassion.
So the next time a young person lashes out, shuts down, or spirals — stop.
Don’t ask, What’s wrong with you?
Ask, What happened to you?
That single shift could be the start of something life-changing.